Bumper Stickers

THE GENE POOL COULD USE A LITTLE CHLORINE

TIME IS WHAT KEEPS THINGS FROM HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE

I DIDN'T FIGHT MY WAY TO THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN TO BE A VEGETARIAN

WOMEN WHO SEEK TO BE EQUAL WITH MEN LACK AMBITION

YOUR KID MAY BE AN HONOR STUDENT BUT YOU'RE STILL AN IDIOT

IF WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO EAT ANIMALS, WHY ARE THEY MADE WITH MEAT?

FEW WOMEN ADMIT THEIR AGE, FEW MEN ACT IT

I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT

ITS LONELY AT THE TOP, BUT YOU EAT BETTER

LOVE: TWO VOWELS, TWO CONSONANTS, TWO FOOLS

ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS THE PROBLEM DOESN'T EXIST

SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE ONLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO KILL THEM

PRIDE IS WHAT WE HAVE. VANITY IS WHAT OTHERS HAVE

FORGET ABOUT WORLD PEACE...VISUALIZE YOUR TURN SIGNAL

WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR

GIVE ME AMBIGUITY OR GIVE ME SOMETHING ELSE

WE HAVE ENOUGH YOUTH, HOW ABOUT A FOUNTAIN OF "SMART"

MAKE IT IDIOT PROOF AND SOMEONE WILL MAKE A BETER IDIOT

HE WHO LAUGHS LAST THINKS SLOWEST

ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU'RE UNIQUE, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

LOTTERY: A TAX ON PEOPLE WHO ARE BAD AT MATH

VERY FUNNY SCOTTY, NOW BEAM DOWN MY CLOTHES

PURITANISM: THE HAUNTING FEAR THAT SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE MAY BE HAVING FUN

CONSCIOUSNESS: THAT ANNOYING TIME BETWEEN NAPS

3 KINDS OF PEOPLE: THOSE WHO CAN COUNT AND THOSE WHO CAN'T

WHY IS "ABBREVIATION" SUCH A LONG WORD?

EVER STOP TO THINK AND FORGET TO START AGAIN?

DIPLOMACY IS THAT ART OF SAYING "NICE DOGGIE"...TILL YOU CAN FIND A ROCK

I LIKE YOU BUT I WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU WORKING WITH SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLES

"AUNTIE EM: HATE YOU, HATE KANSAS, TAKING THE DOG." DOROTHY

LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION, I CAN FIND IT MYSELF

ESCHEW OBFUSCATION

JESUS IS COMING. LOOK BUSY

More Bumper Stickers !

Ronald Record
rr@ronrecord.com
The Santa Cruz Operation
P.O. Box 1900
Santa Cruz, California 95061

This document was last modified on December 5th, 1996.

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*Cf. de Selby: "Footnotes are loved by academics, not because they are necessary, but because they are intimations of infinity: prose commenting on prose adumbrates mind contemplating mind and opens an exuberance of mirrors." Golden Hours, I, 33.