Menstrual Madness
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Bleeding Is Powerful
OK. I'm bleeding even as we speak--of course it started early because I am wearing a white dress today. If the sure-fire way to get pregnant is to have sex in the back of a car with a 17-year-old, then the sure-fire way to start your period is to wear a white dress . . . it also helps if there are no tampons within a 50-mile radius of where you happen to be encased in white. I know the power of bleeding, it makes manufacturers scared enough to pour blue water on pads in commercials. Goddess forfend one show in real, living colour what a pad looks like when it's used. And why in the world do I have to be at work today? I should be being honored in a special place, imparting my wisdom to adolescents and drinking tea or bourbon--maybe tea and bourbon--I'd [even] settle for being "unclean" if it meant I wasn't required to be at work. In my family of origin, neither my mother nor I were allowed to work in the garden during our periods, some old tale about cucumbers dying if a menstruating woman was near them. I should point out that while this was the '70s, it was in West Virginia. Men are scared of blood, women's blood; even the concept of menstruation is terrifying. I had this problem at work last year, the doctors would come to the office and if I happened to have my butt out of my chair for two minutes, they would sit at my desk, never mind they have their own desks, never mind that I have my work to do to make the clinic run smoothly. This pissed me off. I started to leave a nice, clean, fully-wrapped tampon in the center of the desk if I had to leave. Male doctors stopped sitting at my desk. They would not even move a clean UNUSED tampon in order to sit down. . . bleeding is powerful. . . . . (By the way, with the female doctors who sat at my desk, I said, "I need to sit down" and they would move--that never worked with the male docs prior to the Power of the Blood Device trick.)
Careening upside down and unbelted without a crash helmet on Ms. Toad's Wild Menstrual Ride? Tell us. Cry, moan, exalt, complain, praise, or offer solutions. We'll love you no matter what.
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