Rob News
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HYPE-OCALYPSE NOW!
A Do-It-Yourself prophecy. Instructions: Vote for your favorite doomsday scenario. Print this page and fill it out, using numbers to indicate your order of preference. Send your entry to Hype-ocalypse Now!, P.O. Box 761, Petaluma, CA 94953.
___Destruction of ozone layer
___Earthquakes, volcanoes, hurricanes
___Genocide of the imagination
___Holy War waged by entranced, celibate teenage boys
___Virus from outer space
___Virus from inner space
___Universal drug addiction
___Mass starvation
___Takeover by beautiful monsters created by genetic engineering
___Discovery of how to make gold easily and cheaply, resulting in excessive wealth
___Explosions of uncontrollable mass guilt
___Terrifying, contagious superstitions spread by apocalyptic pop-prophecy
___Insects take over
___Making the world safe for narcissism
___Multinational corporate criminals unite the whole world into one nation
___Human love affairs with germs
___Extraterrestrial sports event that requires an ocean of human genetic material
___Cataclysmic degeneration of language
___Fluoridated, AIDS-inducing LSD in water supplies
___Too much leisure time
___Revolt of super-intelligent computers that can talk to the Goddess
___Stupidity becoming popular
___Mass hypnosis by evil religious leaders
___Overabundance of lawyers
___President goes berserk after Syrian terrorists systematically murder top five highest paid movie stars and basketball players
___Essential natural resources run out
___Universal addiction to virtual sex results in accidental mass suicide through excessive masturbation
___Melting of polar caps due to greenhouse effect
___Pollution-enhanced sunsets seduce millions into staring constantly into the sun, causing mass blindness
___CIA-trained psychic warriors administer mass shock treatments via telepathy
___Mass boycott of opinion polls
___Earth hit by comet, asteroid, or mini-black hole
___Incredibly wealthy philanthropists give everyone in the world $50,000
___Sun goes supernova
___Wise person becomes world leader
___Dramatic breakthroughs in halting the aging process lead to such terrible overcrowding that everyone hates each other
___The devil possesses everyone in the world
___Lethal proliferation of dangerous images
___Nuclear war
___Hype-ocalypse
___Other_________________________________________
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